Burns Night Doggerel

'Wee Sleekit Cow'rin Tim'rous Beastie'

Postcard from a Westie to his companion at Boarding School

I'm a Westie from Scotland,

The Isles are m'friends,

But this one's a dot in the ocean,

No survey would map it,

The coastguard would scrap it.

It seems a good time for devotion!

With my dog-collar on

And prayers up to date,

I keep safely short of the brink,

If I put a paw wrong

Or lap sea with m'tongue,

I think I'll end up in the drink!

We're renowned for our tipple

On this part of the globe

It's golden and clear as can be,

Though I've not lost m'bottle,

Send a boat at full throttle,

It's a landlubber's life for me!

It's true my name's Skipper

And the brine's in m'blood,

The forebears sailed full tilt for Skye

To take the Bonnie Prince over,

To 'Jamie the Rover',

When Culloden's dog-fight went awry!

So I think all in all

I'll be glad when you call,

For I'll not make old bones on this rock,

Don't delay at half-term,

Any port in a storm,

But I'd like to be home with m'pack!